library, books, reading

Fuck you, book

Thieves World: Turning Points, a reboot of an anthology franchise I loved as a teen. It is simply not good. I keep telling myself that as an anthology, I really should read all the stories as some of the authors may have turned in good work; and yes, some of it is decent. However, I can't get past how bad some of it is. Shadowspawn was always my favorite character and he returns in a story by Andrew Offut, "Role Model." It is unreadable. Was his writing always this bad and I was simply too young to realize it before? Did I accept his "style" of randomly inserting unneeded adjectives and adverbs into the narrative as good writing, rather than simply overdone and muddy as I see it now?

This is the passage where I refused to read more, from page 90:

Lone swallowed and, even in pitch darkness, blinked. It had not occurred to him that his idol was capable of such profundity.

"Doubtless you think that was profound," the darkness said, in the shadow-quiet voice of the master thief of Sanctuary.

You can't use a ten-dollar word like "profundity" and then follow it up with it's more common root word in the next sentence. It just draws attention to the fact that the author is trying too hard. Or, it implies that the author thinks the reader is an idiot and will not know what the word means without the additional clue. Either way: fuck you, book. I have better things to do with my time.
cake, food, yum

Gum = Orgy

These ads are all over the T this week. Dentyne wants us all to pop some gum, shut off the computer, and interact with other humans. All of the kissing pictures appear to be heterosexual couples. The "friend" ad depicts two women hugging. Then there is the "chatroom" ad:

The version I saw was cropped horizontally so you can't tell if the guy on the floor is wearing pants. I know that *I* don't get that close and personal with friends unless I'm sleeping with them and/or drunk. I just can't come up with an interpretation of this ad that doesn't include group sex. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it really stood out among the other more conservative images. The "chatroom" image is also the only one to picture a non-white model (the top girl on the couch looks South Asian).
leia, gun, kick ass, woman

Walking through the woods I have faced it; Looking for something to learn

Me: I'm getting hungry, but I brought emergency rations.
Joe: You sound like you're on Dagoba.
Me: I like to think that these food cubes are very similar to what Luke would take camping in a swamp. Do you want one? I've got chocolate, apple pie, cherry pie, and cashew cookie. I'm taking the chocolate one.
Joe: Would Yoda choose chocolate?
Me: Maybe. I'm thinking he might be more of a cherry pie type of guy...

[Sunday in the Target parking lot]
vampire, classic film, horror, nosferatu

Every little piece pulls In its own direction

Conversation had yesterday:[1]

C: I would think this plot sucked if it was fan fiction. And you know it would be all slashy hurt/comfort crap.
Me: Now I'm picturing slashy hurt/comfort fan fic with those two, and it's disturbing.
C: And you know why it's disturbing?
Me: Hmm?
C: Because it's slashy, hurt/comfort fanfic.
Me: For me it's more picturing Stellan Skarsgård naked.


T: Ough. Is he having his period now?
Me: Maybe it's straying into some horrific mPreg fanfic territory.
C: Oh God! I hate that I know what you're talking about!

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eeeee, tony, kitten

(no subject)

Your result for The Which Lolcat Are You? Test...

Cheezburger cat

53% Affectionate, 64% Excitable, 56% Hungry

Sure, you deserve one. You helped popularized lolcats from a running gag to an online sensation. Now mainstream media writes asinine columns on this 'phenomenon', students write theses on the topic, programming languages adopt the grammar, and losers write tests about them on dating sites. Now take your cheezburger and never touch the internets again.

To see all possible results, checka dis.

Take The Which Lolcat Are You? Test at HelloQuizzy